yeah um havent posted in a little bit so hi, i dont even write as much feel like im annoying to my BLOG HA even thought no one probably reads this i mean it is my personal diary in a way said it a few times, easier typing than writing can tell you that, my fingers and hand be's dead from writing in a diary know that cause i have one. But um me and the guy i liked sort of not really idek we stopped talking for good which is fair play, we drifted and that was that i'm not bothered anyway. School ends this coming friday
so um im gonna talk about my eating habits and weight?
basically ever since ive been like 13 its always been a case of being skinny like ive always been a skinny girl i know that in my head, but when i was 13 i didnt even eat in school like i mean i didnt eat, id only really have dinner a day but i wasnt even hungry during the day so i suppose it was okay i wasnt doing it on purpose or anything, but im pretty sure i weight 40 something kg? it was in the low end anyway and always being a tall girl, like i was considered tall for my age i guess i was underweight like i had 0 bum my trousers were drooping at the back LOL which who cares i was a kid? but looking back yeah that was bad, i had my thigh gap and everything AND THEN i got sick, i got the chicken pox at aged 13 imagine how tragic that was ahahah i still have like 2 scars from it ewie but u cant even see them apart from me, but yeah i didnt eat at all for a whole almost 2 months? like i had a few oven cooked chicken nuggets a day but that was it, cause i was staying home sleeping most of the time, obviously i couldnt leave the house, and i had chicken pox in my eyes and in my mouth ( mostly in my throat) so it was painful looking as well as swallowing anything even saliva as bad as that sounds, and now im soon 17 i just feel like im so fucking fat weighing 60kg likei just wanna drop down to atleast 50kg or something im just so uncomfortable, i have a gym membership i need to go back i havent been in 2 weeks and i feel sobad about myself, mum says im underweight for my age and height but maybe shes just saying that because shes my mum, im at a height of 5'6/5'7 i cant really remember the measurements theyre in my passport tho lmao but yeah it sucks i hate it makes me never wanna eat again, when i was underweight mum would always say i never eat and make comments about it and yeah never actually realized, i wanna stop eating properly but then ill lose the shape of my bum, it actually happens its not like its super massive but its a normal bum which id prefer to atleast keep since my boobs are a literal b/c not ashamed i love my small crepes rather them than big but yeah, maybe starting tomorrow, anyway im off to eat some watermelon(keeping healthy)
