everything has gone to complete and utter shit and i am back to phase 1 of hating life, '' my love '' and i  ended things becos well i guess it didnt work but im still waiting for his pathetic ass i dont know why, the first week i was non stop crying , i had to leave school it got that bad, hes doing ok of course, its a guy lol theyre always better than ever, im kind of getting past it like im not as sad as i was last week or the week before, so baby steps, sad thing is, if this was me last year i would be over it in a second because my sadness turned to anger and i would be going with all his friends rightnow, but rightnow i dont want anybody else but him its so fucking hard like cmon go back to being a heartless bitch and ruinn him like you have before, why cant i do it, how is he holding me under his breath without even being here, he said there was point waiting, but im just playing myself at this point, i knew it was too good to be true, the last entry i wrote was almost like a dream, i got butterflies reading that a few minutes ago siiiiiiiiiiiiigh, oh well, life goes on , right