the last time i wrote was may, the month of may was a month of crying at least a few times every week and trying to move on when i couldnt, rightnow its 2 months later, its the 3rd of august.

ill start off by saying Ryan Celsius is a god at making mixes of songs 

secondly the universe and god has been too good to me and im finally started to appreciate life for the first time.

ive became somewhat holy, i would never pray but i manage to pray every night to thank the lord for everything and it makes me feel better,

shocking i know,

me and the boy i called '' my love '' would text me almost every week after we '' broke up '' just normal conversation during the day which would finish and we would go back to not speaking for days i thought maybe he was just trying to keep the friendship, at one point i just wanted to tell him to stop because it hurt that i couldnt talk to him all the time but i didnt, then 2 saturdays before the 8th of july he texted me, it was around 1-2am he was sending me videos, at the start he made me laugh, hadnt felt that in a long time, but then slowly he got to a deeper side, sent me videos of him saying he missed me and regretted finishing with me and that he loved me, i was in shock and disbelief, it was rare for him to open up tbh thats one thing i always knew, it was my fault though for that because of the past but he did he opened up, and that fucked with my head for 2 weeks straight because he didnt text me that following weekend, so 2 weeks pass and on the 8th of july, a day after my bestfriends birthday he texts me, yeah hes with his friends i could see in the background, he was just conversating then suddenly he goes into blue chat and asks am i ready to come back, lmfao i asked him '' the question is are you ready '' everything got sorted with him, i think that month was a good break for us we both sorted ourselves out, i mean i went downhill for a bit but realized how much he was worth it, i had never done that for any boy ever, we use to argue a lot, too much so he had a fair point for a break, it wasnt healthy, so at the start when we got back yeah i was scared, man i was hella scared, scared of letting him in again cause of how easy it was for him to break me but i mean we got back on track, better than before if im honest, i was recently on holidays (15th july) where he actually said the words '' i love you '' like ma heart

i basically skipped the month of june kinda, it was a month of exams, literally

july was holidays

my 2 bestfriends have fallen out and im in an awkward situation just want them to be okay again