i think im becoming distant with almost everyone and it really does feel like i have no one when thats probably not the case and thats the worst feeling ever, idk where to go it wont leave my mind and my thoughts just get worse and darker and it mentally breaks you and makes you feel like you physically cant do anything either, i dont want to stay or be here anymore but then what happens when im gone?
the annoying, loud, laughing, happy person i was 2-3 months ago isnt there anymore and i wish i could change that, ive tried just pretending to be happy thinking ill convince myself to be but it hasnt worked.
i hate sleep, i hate day, i hate daylight, i prefer being awake at night and being in the dark, i prefer being surrounded by colourful lights and loud music, i prefer drinking until i cant drink another i love the burning sensation in my throat as it goes down, i want to inhale the posion that goes inside and out in that beauitful grey colour
All i want is to not care anymore and not give a fuck about anything or anyone, slowly im doing it, id rather be insane and not feel a thing than feel all this misery and think about all the people that wouldnt give a care in the world if something happened to me and to not care about the people that stop having interest to talk to you but only talk to you when something bad actually does happen and they pretend to care
Why is the human race so cruel?
What did i do that was so bad, i strived for success and did everything to get what was mine back and i did it, and i was careless and thought nobody could take it away from me again but they did, the same twisted snaked bitch, its always something, when i do something she does, watching my every fucking move, begging me for forgiveness, why am i so stupid? why did i let her in, i let my own bully back into my life her disguised as my '' bestfriend'' she took it all away from me once and i got rid of her and now when i was back at the top of the pyramid of everyone she crawls back in pretending, its okay though right? i mean shes just taking the left over boys that i got tired of and the boys that chose me, and the friends that were behind me that told me all their hilarious opinions about what they really thought of her, its okay though, i got it all back once bitch so i can do it again and i am going to do it again, slowly but gradually, because you know what they say about karma, but i am my own karma, people never fuck me over but she just did, i made someones life hell because they put me through shit for a year, and now most people hate them, your welcome j, wanna know what it took me to get him back? he used me abused me and mentally abused me for a whole year and 5 months to be exact, i made him '' love '' me again and i made him beg for me while i was laughing at him showing everyone the messages he was sending to me, my friends kept telling me to break it off because i was discusted being with him but i had my plan and once i have a plan i'll stick with it until the end and in this case i did better than stick with it, we were in a relationship for about before a month id say and the time that i broke up with him was good too, i made him think i was happy when everyone knew i hated him and when he confonted me about it id always tell him they were lies and he always believed me, during this relationship i was texting several boys and i was treating them better than my own ''boyfriend'' and i wasnt emabressed to tell people, and obviously word got to my '' boyfriend '' but id deny it and hed believe me again, and then it came to the point were he was so '' inlove '' with me and i made him think i was too that i broke up with him a day before our anniversary ahahah and he cried and begged and i continued to lead him on thinking we were gonna get back until the point where i got sick of him and told him to leave me alone, his friends telling me he tried to cut but it was hilarious, and him and his friends continued to watch over me and watch what i did and the boys i talked to met up with, he wanted to hit most of them and did hit 1 even though though the whole month of my acting i didnt let him touch me or anything, kind of made me regret doing this because i had my own ex stalker and this lasted 1 month or 2 i think and i finally got rid of him, and told him it was all a plan and that i always hated him and that it was all just for revenge on the pain he put me through, and then maybe 3 months later after all this i had a friend from a different country and she remembered i use to have a boyfriend and asked what happened and then proceeded to follow him with my permission but i didnt care so she followed him, and he messgaed her on instagram dm, mind you he had a new girl friend at this stage to ''get over me'' or so his friends said, so he messaged my friend and stuff and one thing lead to another he added her on snapchat and he started getting sexual towards her which was inapropriate because he had a girlfriend.. and so i made up a plan with the help of my friend and we ended up skyping eachother and then she started to play along with what he was doing and for this plan to work she had to find nudes on the internet to make them look real, and long story short we have screenshots of his nudes and chats of what he said, and guess what we did, lmao savage like me we sent them to his girlfriend, and if he ever does anything to piss me off theyre going everywhere, i promised him id get him back for threatening me and i did
What did i do that was so bad, i strived for success and did everything to get what was mine back and i did it, and i was careless and thought nobody could take it away from me again but they did, the same twisted snaked bitch, its always something, when i do something she does, watching my every fucking move, begging me for forgiveness, why am i so stupid? why did i let her in, i let my own bully back into my life her disguised as my '' bestfriend'' she took it all away from me once and i got rid of her and now when i was back at the top of the pyramid of everyone she crawls back in pretending, its okay though right? i mean shes just taking the left over boys that i got tired of and the boys that chose me, and the friends that were behind me that told me all their hilarious opinions about what they really thought of her, its okay though, i got it all back once bitch so i can do it again and i am going to do it again, slowly but gradually, because you know what they say about karma, but i am my own karma, people never fuck me over but she just did, i made someones life hell because they put me through shit for a year, and now most people hate them, your welcome j, wanna know what it took me to get him back? he used me abused me and mentally abused me for a whole year and 5 months to be exact, i made him '' love '' me again and i made him beg for me while i was laughing at him showing everyone the messages he was sending to me, my friends kept telling me to break it off because i was discusted being with him but i had my plan and once i have a plan i'll stick with it until the end and in this case i did better than stick with it, we were in a relationship for about before a month id say and the time that i broke up with him was good too, i made him think i was happy when everyone knew i hated him and when he confonted me about it id always tell him they were lies and he always believed me, during this relationship i was texting several boys and i was treating them better than my own ''boyfriend'' and i wasnt emabressed to tell people, and obviously word got to my '' boyfriend '' but id deny it and hed believe me again, and then it came to the point were he was so '' inlove '' with me and i made him think i was too that i broke up with him a day before our anniversary ahahah and he cried and begged and i continued to lead him on thinking we were gonna get back until the point where i got sick of him and told him to leave me alone, his friends telling me he tried to cut but it was hilarious, and him and his friends continued to watch over me and watch what i did and the boys i talked to met up with, he wanted to hit most of them and did hit 1 even though though the whole month of my acting i didnt let him touch me or anything, kind of made me regret doing this because i had my own ex stalker and this lasted 1 month or 2 i think and i finally got rid of him, and told him it was all a plan and that i always hated him and that it was all just for revenge on the pain he put me through, and then maybe 3 months later after all this i had a friend from a different country and she remembered i use to have a boyfriend and asked what happened and then proceeded to follow him with my permission but i didnt care so she followed him, and he messgaed her on instagram dm, mind you he had a new girl friend at this stage to ''get over me'' or so his friends said, so he messaged my friend and stuff and one thing lead to another he added her on snapchat and he started getting sexual towards her which was inapropriate because he had a girlfriend.. and so i made up a plan with the help of my friend and we ended up skyping eachother and then she started to play along with what he was doing and for this plan to work she had to find nudes on the internet to make them look real, and long story short we have screenshots of his nudes and chats of what he said, and guess what we did, lmao savage like me we sent them to his girlfriend, and if he ever does anything to piss me off theyre going everywhere, i promised him id get him back for threatening me and i did
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